TREMULANT+++

Thursday, December 25th, 2003

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Subject:	!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:	4:25 pm.

I HAVE A NEW LIVEJOURNAL. ITS MATADORS. EVERYONE GO THERE NOW AND ADD ME AND WHATEVER YOU DO. BASICALLY ITS THE SAME EXACT JOURNAL AND EVERYTHING AS THIS ONE, JUST MATADORS.
tthankyou.

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

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Subject:	glerb
Time:	11:58 am.
Mood:	groggy.
Music:	red medicine.

okay the final vote.
should i change my username to
a) matadors
b) tremulantsings (lyric)
c) ininfared (lyric)
d) keep sleeperwalker

thank you.

"Forgive me, Mr. Auster. I see that I am making you sad. No questions, please. My name is Peter Stillman. That is not my real name. My real name is Mr. Sad. What is your name, Mr. Auster? Perhaps you are the real Mr. Sad, and I am no one."

"This is what is called speaking. I believe that is the term. When words come out, fly out into the air, live for a moment, and die. Strange, is it not? I myself have no opinion. No and no again. But still, there are words you will need to have. There are many of them. Many millions, I think. Perhaps only three or four. Excuse me. But i am doing well today. So much better than usual. If i can give you the words you need to have, it will be a great victory. Thank you. Thank you a million times over."

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003

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Subject:	sounds eclectic too
Time:	5:54 pm.
Mood:	good.
Music:	fugazi- instrument.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

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Time:

12:03 pm.

should i change my user name to
a) thetremulant
b) tremulantsings
c) tremello / tremelo

the original plan would be tremulant, but thats already taken..

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

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Subject:	youre so manipulated
Time:	3:22 pm.
Mood:	disappointed.
Music:	hot snakes.

i like proving people wrong.

this
COOL

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i like proving people wrong.

this
<img src="http://sailormoontoys.com/italymilord.jpg"alt="COOL"/>

<img src="http://www.gardalake.it/sansoni/images/matador.jpg"=alt"MATADOR"/>
why does NOTHING ever ever EVER work out?!

Sunday, December 21st, 2003

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Time:

11:32 pm.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS

AAAAAHH

Friday, December 19th, 2003

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Time:

11:59 pm.

i was ditched, i watched the sunset and the ocean, i listened to relationship of command, i started cleaning my room and now its a bigger mess then before, i read about the manipulative/charismatic/abusive nature of cult leaders

Thursday, December 18th, 2003

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Subject:	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Time:	9:16 pm.
Mood:	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
Music:	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhHHHHHHH!!!
AAAAAAHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAH AAAAAH AAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHH AAHH AAAAAA
aaa aaaaaaaaaaa hhh hhhh! !!!!!

i'm out of breath..

Wednesday, December 17th, 2003

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Subject:	in infared is how we saw
Time:	10:05 pm.

claire's house is in another time zone.
happy birthday.

fuck oedipus..

i was wrapping a present for claire, it was a dark blue bottle filled with insomnia aromatherapy liquids and i dropped it on the cement floor in the garage and it smashed everywhere- the blue glass was all over the floor and now it smells like sleepy aromatherapy and i want to sleep.

ummmmm

Tuesday, December 16th, 2003

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Time:	5:24 pm.
Mood:	angry.
Music:	relationship of command.

mckenzie sent me a package with black and white photos from idyllwild with post it captions on them, a beautiful letter, a drawing of us, and a perfect book about love and warmth with perfect drawings and
i miss her. probably more then ive ever missed anyone, ever. i miss mckenzie right now more then i missed my grandma when she died. i miss mckenzie more then anything. for most of you that don't know her, she is one of the most amazing people i have ever encountered, and i knew that the moment i saw her. she has perfect insight and a sixth sense for everything, she observes and analyzes all thats around her, she expresses her ideas clearly and accurately and beautifully through art and writing and speaking, and makes me feel like a complete idiot when i ramble out 'well yknow its like when blahblahblah' she is definately psycic, and i have proof. she says yeah really elongated which i tried to copy once. she has the most natural beautiful face and features that i have probably ever seen in a boy or a girl, it shocked me when i first met her. in idyllwild i felt clumsy ugly stupid in her presence, but she understood me, without me having to explain everything a million times. all she ate at idyllwild was coffee and water and cake. she's not going back next year, and i just realized that i'd never see her again.

"have you always been so cold? What you put into something will always be more than you get out of it. A vessel must absorb something in order to sustain itself. you can't live on nothing. you pour these things together hoping it works out. so it comes together and lives on its own, but there's a part of you out there, you want to know that some part still belongs to you. that you're piece is still inside. so you look inside, and finding less... ...take back whats left. the whole thing disappears."
"i'll live without it."
---but why? what would be the point?

i have so much work to do its ridiculous

Sunday, December 14th, 2003

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Time:	10:06 pm.
Music:	red medicine.

just because oliver did this and i feel like doing it too.
guess who.
1. i think youre the most fake person i know, and crying for attention
2. you mean a lot to me even though you don't really know it and youre too busy with a million other people
3. a very special girl person indeed. i wish you the best for everything.
4. a little dramatic at times yet very insightful and smart, at what you want to be smart at
5. fuck you
6. like oliver said, i think you loathe me
7. i think youre a psycic but you dont tell anyone that
8. youre georgeous.
9. youre very intellegent and pretty and sort of.. hmm.. classy.. but you make me all nervous because you hate a lot of people and im sure you hate me too
10. youre intimidating
11. youre gonna snap one day and i cant wait
12. i followed you home once
13. im so jealous of you

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Time:

8:03 pm.

something vague?
she is vague?
don't be vague?
this is the vague?
you are vague?
he is vague?
it is vague?
VAGUE?
maybe vague?
into the vague?

today was really good. on some levels.
we recorded a demo, three songs. beat that. what other bands record three songs after two practices?

SHIT i AM cocky. eeeehauyriou7ngiroawaiiasldgaaahh.

its funny. i critisize so many people so harshly all the time, and when i get one bit of critisism it stings like hell.

i didn't get any homework done this weekend.

the jazz concer tyesterday was lame. i hate the holiday show. gloves ??

my mom was frantic today and it rubbed off on me for half an hour and then i went on a walk to the cliffs listening to red medicine and watched it get dark and froze to death, and then i was refreshed

oh thats it

Thursday, December 11th, 2003

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Time:

6:40 pm.

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

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Subject:	i just wanna hold your hand when you die
Time:	10:51 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.
Music:	bus driver hahahhahhaa.

another. fight. with my mom.

okay you guys, i'd like you to vote.
you can do this by hitting that link on the bottom left corner of this entry, just in case you forgot.

should this occur
a) this winter break
b) this spring break
c) summer
d) tomorrow

the occurance is a suprise.

practice tomorrow. jazz thing next wednesday. jazz concert this saturday. berlin show maybe this friday?? lack of mister valentine this friday.

bleh i need something

Monday, December 8th, 2003

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Time:

6:45 pm.

top five albums of the week.

end hits

yeah yeah yeah no deloused. weird.

Sunday, December 7th, 2003

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Time:

11:21 am.

¡amantillado! ™

i am so sore.

i just finished my card for helen, and now im making one for tessa.

i had an insane dream last night and i think it will have an effect on things. mildly.

would you rather spenda year completely alone or always with other people?

Saturday, December 6th, 2003

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Subject:	tiramisu, how do you do?
Time:	2:35 pm.

yesterday i met jenna+ryan+francine in the palisades again, and we hung out on the top of savon. OH.
pali pali pali. yikes.
then i walked home with francine and the all famous l.n.o. played for my moms birthday i think that went fine.. i dont know i hate adult parties like that. so much it hurts.
theres a garage sale i think. i think im going to go to it. i think. maybe i can get a cheap present?
wish me luck.
oh im redying my hair.

Thursday, December 4th, 2003

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Subject:	ill feed you fruit that dont exist/ill leave grafitti where youve never been kissed,
Time:	3:54 pm.

what the fuck?
happened
to me
today

lots of hugs and exagerated faces.
hysterically crying while laughing..?
and hopping.

???????????????????????????????

ryanfuckingjeffs reads this now? what?
do other livejournaless people read this?

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003

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Subject:	they used to have pulses in them but impulse has made them strong
Time:	4:57 pm.

i. feel. so. good.
so i got home. and no ones here. and i dont have a key. i sat down for awhile, and then i climbed over the back door and found that the screen door was open. i climbed inside and opened the door and got my backpack in. it was so slick..

im playing for my moms party this friday with the late night orchestra. that should be good.

oh, p.s. , i'm a motherfucking genius.
youll see.

SECRET WEAPON VS SEAMONSTERS.

Sunday, November 30th, 2003

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Subject:	oooooooooooooooooooooooh !!
Time:	9:23 pm.

and thats no excuse anyways.
fuck her.

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